[Woodworkers] Last minute Christmas gift idea

[Steve Bigelow via Woodworkers]

Nice work, and, as always, a great story to boot! Thanks for sharing, Joe!

Regards,
-Steve
http://woodworking.bigelowsite.com
http://pen-blanks.us

On Thu, Jan 5, 2017 at 9:44 AM, Joe Johns via Woodworkers <
woodworkers at lists.sawdusters.org> wrote:

> So it's December 20th around 1800 hrs and I'm sitting at home enjoying the
> few short days before Christmas eve.
>
> The phone rings and in typical fashion I'm scurrying around the house
> trying to find the damn talk into and listen outta thingy.
>
> "Good evening."
>
> "Hey Joey, it's Jacques.  Say, I got to thinking this morning about our
> boy and the state of his room and how much he could use a toy box and I..."
>  I interrupted him.
>
> "Wait, I see where this is going so lemme guess, you want this before
> Christmas, right?"  We've been friends ever since I moved here to the
> Mission Valley.
>
> "Yeah, it doesn't have to be anything fancy, just nail some plywood
> together and throw some finish on it and..."  I interrupted him again.
>
> "How 'bout I give you a cardboard box instead, I got a couple big ones
> here and..."  He interrupted me.
>
> "He's been using a cardboard box and it ain't working b'cuz he likes to
> sit on it and he has..."  I interrupted him.
>
> "How 'bout I do it this way, Jacques, let me wing it?"
>
> Well, his wife, Jenny, musta been within earshot of the conversation and I
> can almost see what happened immediately after he hung up with me.  She
> sneaked off to the back porch and called.
>
> This time I knew where the talk into and listen outta thingy was b'cuz it
> was still in my hand.  "Good evening."
>
> "Joey, ummm..."  Her voice is very alluring...much like Lauren Bacall's
> and I've known her since forever, too.  "Hey Jenny, this is a coinkydink I
> just got off the phone with Jacques and..."  She interrupted me.
>
> "I know, I heard.  Listen, can you make it bigger than the standard size
> toy box?"
>
> "Why, certainly.  Do you have any other particular requirements?"
>
> "Yeah, make it so the lid doesn't slam down and crush his fingers and..."
>  I interrupted her.
>
> "I'm on it.  Nothing fancy, no grueling efforts associated with climbing
> out of a cardboard box and no chance of phalanges being dismembered."
>
> Now, y'all know I'm not one to do things where it 'doesn't have to be
> anything fancy'.  At the same time, I'm not one to simply cobble something
> together without a bit of thought.  True, this project wasn't "fine
> woodworking" but I tried to keep it within constraints I was given.
>
> After the basic box was assembled I put my thinking cap on and said out
> loud to no one in particular (mainly due to the fact no one else was in the
> shop), "This thing needs more stuff.  But what kinda stuff?"
>
> While I was pondering on that I walked to the wood stove to throw in a
> couple chunks 'o wood and glanced at my pirate hanging on the wall and at
> that precise moment was when my 'what kinda stuff can I add to it' question
> was answered.
>
> I ripped home, did a Google search for pirate art, found the perfect
> picture, printed it then moseyed my way back and this was when Jeff became
> involved with the project.
>
> Jeff walked into the shop to see what I was up to.  "What the hell are you
> working on now?"
>
> "Hey Jeff...ummm, I got this...well...it's a toy box and I'm having some
> birthing pains.  I was given free "wing it" status so now I'm trying to
> figure out how to plus it and showed him the pirate picture.
>
> "Well, hell, Joe,"  He said with delight, "I think that is a perfect
> idea...how 'bout we burn the edges of it to make it look old?"  We did
> that, glued it on the front and next thing I know he's out the door headed
> for town.
>
> Now, I'm back into thinking mode.
>
> I says to myself, "Self, this is a pretty big toy box and you know every
> boy has some smaller, more precious things that absolutely must be kept
> separate, right?"
>
> It's pretty scary when you answer yourself.  "Yeah, so what about it?"  I
> said.
>
> "Well, what if you was to put in a sliding tray for all them separate
> precious things?"
>
> I had some honest to goodness gold doubloons left over from another
> project I got from the Dollar Store a couple years ago and I glued them
> authentic plastic doubloons all willy-nilly like.  And then came time to
> decide on the handles.
>
> I thought, "Pirate...honest to goodness fake plastic gold doubloons...so
> what kinda handle goes on a treasure chest?"  Then it hit me, "I know!
> Rope handles!"  So I called Jeff because I knew he was going to the
> hardware store - turns out no one in the entire world has sisal or hemp
> rope anymore.  So I milled them from pallet wood, spray painted black then
> lightly sanded to make them look worn.
>
> In the pictures only the stain has been applied.  Jeff had the idea to
> take the hinges and grind notches in the edges to make them look forged.
>
> The day after Christmas the phone rang and once again I'm running around
> trying to find the damn talk into and listen outta thingy.
>
> "Merry Christmas!"
>
> "Hey Joey, it's Jacques..."  I interrupted him.
>
> "Hey Jacques, does the boy still have all his fingers?"
>
> "Ahhhh, yeah, he does, but that ain't why I'm callin' - I should'a had you
> make two of these."
>
>
>
> ​
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ​
> ​
>
> --
> Joe,
> The Twisted Knot Woodshop, "There's never been a classier joint"
> Visit the Twisted Knot Woodshop - http://www.twistedknotwoodshop.com
>
> _______________________________________________
> I want to be one of my friends for a day so I can see how cool it is to
> hang out with me.
> Woodworkers at lists.sawdusters.org
>
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