[Woodworkers] Last minute Christmas gift idea

Thu Jan 5 14:12:34 PST 2017

Joe,

Nice looking toy chest. The construction looks like just butt joints.  Did 
you just glue and pin nail it together? Is it plywood, because the exposed  
end grain edges don't look like plywood?

Gary Williams

In a message dated 1/5/2017 12:45:19 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,  
woodworkers at lists.sawdusters.org writes:

So it's December 20th around  1800 hrs and I'm sitting at home enjoying the 
few short days before Christmas  eve.

The phone rings and in  typical fashion I'm scurrying around the house 
trying to find the damn talk  into and listen outta thingy.

"Good evening."

"Hey Joey, it's  Jacques.  Say, I got to thinking this morning about our 
boy and the state  of his room and how much he could use a toy box and I..."  
I interrupted  him.

"Wait, I see where this is  going so lemme guess, you want this before 
Christmas, right?"  We've been  friends ever since I moved here to the Mission 
Valley.

"Yeah, it doesn't have to be  anything fancy, just nail some plywood 
together and throw some finish on it  and..."  I interrupted him again.

"How 'bout I give you a  cardboard box instead, I got a couple big ones 
here and..."  He  interrupted me.

"He's been using a cardboard  box and it ain't working b'cuz he likes to 
sit on it and he has..."  I  interrupted him.

"How 'bout I do it this way,  Jacques, let me wing it?"

Well, his wife, Jenny, musta  been within earshot of the conversation and I 
can almost see what happened  immediately after he hung up with me.  She 
sneaked off to the back porch  and called.

This time I knew where the  talk into and listen outta thingy was b'cuz it 
was still in my hand.  "Good evening."

"Joey, ummm..."  Her  voice is very alluring...much like Lauren Bacall's 
and I've known her since  forever, too.  "Hey Jenny, this is a coinkydink I 
just got off the phone  with Jacques and..."  She interrupted me.

"I know, I heard.   Listen, can you make it bigger than the standard size 
toy box?"

"Why, certainly.  Do  you have any other particular requirements?"

"Yeah, make it so the lid  doesn't slam down and crush his fingers and..."  
I interrupted her.

"I'm on it.  Nothing  fancy, no grueling efforts associated with climbing 
out of a cardboard box and  no chance of phalanges being dismembered."

Now, y'all know I'm not one  to do things where it 'doesn't have to be 
anything fancy'.  At the same  time, I'm not one to simply cobble something 
together without a bit of  thought.  True, this project wasn't "fine 
woodworking" but I tried to  keep it within constraints I was given.

After the basic box was  assembled I put my thinking cap on and said out 
loud to no one in particular  (mainly due to the fact no one else was in the 
shop), "This thing needs more  stuff.  But what kinda stuff?"

While I was pondering on  that I walked to the wood stove to throw in a 
couple chunks 'o wood and  glanced at my pirate hanging on the wall and at that 
precise moment was when  my 'what kinda stuff can I add to it' question was 
answered.

I ripped home, did a Google  search for pirate art, found the perfect 
picture, printed it then moseyed my  way back and this was when Jeff became 
involved with the project.

Jeff walked into the shop to  see what I was up to.  "What the hell are you 
working on now?"

"Hey Jeff...ummm, I got  this...well...it's a toy box and I'm having some 
birthing pains.  I was  given free "wing it" status so now I'm trying to 
figure out how to plus it and  showed him the pirate picture.

"Well, hell, Joe,"  He  said with delight, "I think that is a perfect 
idea...how 'bout we burn the  edges of it to make it look old?"  We did that, 
glued it on the front and  next thing I know he's out the door headed for town.

Now, I'm back into thinking  mode.

I says to myself, "Self,  this is a pretty big toy box and you know every 
boy has some smaller, more  precious things that absolutely must be kept 
separate, right?"

It's pretty scary when you  answer yourself.  "Yeah, so what about it?"  I 
said.

"Well, what if you was to  put in a sliding tray for all them separate 
precious things?"

I had some honest to  goodness gold doubloons left over from another 
project I got from the Dollar  Store a couple years ago and I glued them authentic 
plastic doubloons all  willy-nilly like.  And then came time to decide on 
the handles.

I thought, "Pirate...honest  to goodness fake plastic gold doubloons...so 
what kinda handle goes on a  treasure chest?"  Then it hit me, "I know!  Rope 
handles!"  So  I called Jeff because I knew he was going to the hardware 
store - turns out no  one in the entire world has sisal or hemp rope anymore.  
So I milled them  from pallet wood, spray painted black then lightly sanded 
to make them look  worn.

In the pictures only the  stain has been applied.  Jeff had the idea to 
take the hinges and grind  notches in the edges to make them look forged.

The day after Christmas the  phone rang and once again I'm running around 
trying to find the damn talk into  and listen outta thingy.

"Merry  Christmas!"

"Hey Joey, it's Jacques..."  I interrupted him.

"Hey Jacques, does the boy  still have all his fingers?"

"Ahhhh, yeah, he does, but  that ain't why I'm callin' - I should'a had you 
make two of these."  

-- 

Joe,

The Twisted Knot Woodshop, "There's never been a classier joint"
Visit the Twisted Knot Woodshop - _http://www.twistedknotwoodshop.com_ 
(http://www.twistedknotwoodshop.com/) 

_______________________________________________
I  want to be one of my friends for a day so I can see how cool it is to 
hang out  with me.
Woodworkers at lists.sawdusters.org

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